I wish Monday was tomorrow! I would love to take a home pregnancy test, but I don't want to do that to myself. I could get a false positive or a negative and be devastated. At times I have myself convinced that it didn't work. I don't have any side effects, but I didn't with my first pregnancy either. I guess it is better not to have side effects, but it feels like I should so I know there is a baby/babies growing inside of me.
Everything is winding down. If the blood test comes back positive we will be in for a busy nine months and 18 years. If the blood test comes back negative everything stops, we grieve, discuss our next step, and move on. They are completely different scenarios that I play out in my head everyday.
Sometimes I don't want Monday to come because this is one of our last steps in having our own child/children. If we are pregnant I will worry about miscarrying again and if we aren't I will worry that our last chance at becoming biological parents won't work either. (using the 2 frozen embryos)
However the scenario plays out I am thankful for all the support we have had over the last two months or should I say last three years. I know that no matter the outcome I have a wonderful, supportive, loving, and devoted husband, a fabulous family, and wonderful friends!!
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