I had an interesting conversation with my students on Friday. I don't really remember how it started or the exact words that were exchanged, but it caught me off guard and made me think...
Jimmy said something to me about being behind bars because I'm stuck teaching. I told him that I love teaching, and if I didn't I wouldn't do it. I also said something about how I like being around kids. Ethan proceeded to ask me why I don't have any? I told him I will eventually. Then somehow adoption was thrown into the mix and I said maybe I would adopt. Madison's jaw dropped open and she said, you would? Ethan reminded her that he is adopted and I told the class that Mr. Rataiczak was too. Katie piped in by telling the class about her parent's friends who adopted because the wife had a "disease" that wouldn't let her have her own.
This conversation only lasted a few minutes, but it felt so surreal that it was happening in my third grade classroom. I told a friend about the conversation we had and she thought maybe they had sensed something similar was going on with me since I have been out frequently and late on several occasions. I don't think this is the case because they are only 8 and 9 years old, but it made me wonder if this conversation was a hint of things to come or if this was God's sign to us that we are meant to be adoptive parents.
I think I'm almost to the point of believing I can't have children. I actually stated this to a woman a few days ago when she asked me if I have kids. While we have been on this journey I always believed that at some point I would have a child through fertility treatments, but that belief gets smaller and smaller with each passing day. I have a consult with Dr. Slowey on Thursday to discuss the transfer of the two remaining embryos. This is our last chance of becoming biological parents. If the transfer doesn't work we will begin our new journey of adoption.
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