42!!

42!! That is the number of couples currently waiting for placement in South Carolina with our agency. The number just seems to get higher and higher. I read couples' profiles as they get posted and there are so many deserving families, but it is hard to see families go up that already have children especially ones that have biological children. I know I shouldn't think like that, but I just want ONE child!!!

Supportive Blogger

When I follow other women's' blogs...I start to feel like I know them even though I haven't ever met or talked to them. I have been following one blog since her and her husband went though fertility treatments and she follows mine. She was fortunate in that her IVF worked, and she had twin girls. It is kind of ironic because she just moved from New Hampshire to Mansfield, Ohio. (A town I grew up near and where my dad lived for a couple of years.) Now, I follow her through her life with twins.

I haven't been on here in several weeks because I have been so busy, there hasn't been much to say and honestly when I get on the blog I look at all the other blogs I follow and sometimes it makes me emotional. Anyway, she posted an encouraging comment a couple weeks ago with a quote that was much appreciated...

"I don't believe that God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on... Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution..." ~Author Unknown

First Day of Fall

I can't believe it is almost the end of September. The weather is getting cooler, football games are in full swing, and parent teacher conferences are taking place. I've been pretty busy and haven't had much time to think about adoption...until yesterday. 

We received paper work on Friday from the agency to update our background checks. It hit me that last year at this time we were filling out our formal application.

I continue to watch women around me announce their pregnancies and prepare for their bundles of joy. Maybe we aren't meant to be parents, maybe we need to look into adopting an older child...so much to ponder as we continue to wait.

I hope everyone enjoys the cooler days of fall, the nail biting football games, and the changing colors in nature!

Staying Strong

About two and a half weeks ago our social worker called with some positive news that was hard not to share with everyone, but we needed to stay guarded. There was a birth mother in another state that wanted to place her baby out of her state. She had narrowed her search down to us and two other couples...of course we were ecstatic, but tried not to get overly excited. Anyway, after a hopeful couple of weeks I found out Wednesday evening that the birth mother was no longer working with the agency and had found a family through another avenue.

Of course we are heartbroken and tired of being disappointed. I know I've said it so many times, but I'm really tired of disappointment! I wish we hadn't known we were so close, but the social worker had to call since it was a baby out of state. I'm happy for the family that the baby will be placed with and know that he/she wasn't meant to be part of our family for some reason.

We have only been a waiting family for 5 months which isn't very long, and we are hopeful that we won't have to wait too much longer. We will continue to be patient and stay strong!

Last Day

Today is the last day of summer! It has flown by. I'm ready to go back to keep my mind occupied, but not ready to give up the relaxation that summer brings with it. It has been a summer filled with important discussions, many emotions, relaxation, giving back and time spent with family and friends. I have opened my heart up to more possibilities than I had ever imagined I would before adoption. This summer and the whole journey to become a parent continues to allow me to grow stronger as a person and reflect on what is truly important in life. My dad sent me the perfect birthday card...

"Even before she arrives, you want your daughter's world to be perfect. You want her to be happy and  surrounded by love. You want her to be sure of herself, gentle but strong, with nothing to worry about. But real life's not like that. The years come and go, bringing her trials and triumphs, joys and sorrows. And you still want her world to be perfect, but you can see that she is sure of herself, surrounded by love, and gentle but strong. And you can see that she is who she is because life challenged her to grow and become more amazing every year."

When we finally add a son or daughter to our family I will want this same thing for my child!

So...Michael and I continue to wait. It's funny....when we started this process I was the pessimistic one and Michael the optimist...the roles have reversed a little. I KNOW next summer my days will be filled with the excitement of a little one, but until then I have twenty some eight year olds for approximately seven hours a day to keep me busy!

Cancer Free

Judith, the teenager with cancer at the Ronald McDonald house that I have blogged about a couple of times, is cancer free! Her latest CAT Scan showed the tumor is gone. She was suppose to receive chemo until November/December, but now her last treatment will be next week. I'm thrilled for her...she will now get to start at her new school on the first day of classes and hopefully start living her life as a teenager again. It just shows the impact that a positive outlook can have on a tough situation!!

I'm Having Their Baby

I started watching a new series on Oxygen  called I'm Having Their Baby (10:00pm on Mondays). Each episode follows two different birth mothers who make adoption plans for their unborn babies. I've watched two so far and each birth mother's story has been a little different. Our agency, in another state, was the agency used in one of the episodes. It is really insightful because I'm able to see the other side of the adoption process and the emotions that the birth mothers go through. I have so much respect for the love they have for their babies by giving them a chance at a better life. It is definitely an emotional show...especially when a birth mother changes her mind and decides to parent instead or when a birth mother says goodbye to her child.