I had a pap smear last week and was worried about it being abnormal since my last one was, but I called the doctor's electronic messaging system today and found out it came back normal...yay!!!! That was a relief! I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
While I'm happy about those results...I'm also annoyed. My cycle was suppose to start on Friday. I work like clockwork...my period always starts on time or a day late. Well, it is now Tuesday evening and I have yet to start. One might think...maybe she is pregnant...if it were only that easy. I'm not having any symptoms and I just know I'm not, but I took a pregnancy test this morning just to make sure...it was negative. I can't even imagine how I would have responded if it would have been positive...I probably wouldn't have known what to do or how to act. :) Anyway, in the last three years I haven't wanted my cycle to start, but if I don't start soon I may be in Pennsylvania when they need to do my transfer. Ahhhhh! It is so hard to plan when you are doing fertility treatments. I just need to learn how to not plan everything and live spontaneously...I guess that will come when we actually have a child. :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
3D Pictures
Shelley, my step-mom, downloaded an app on her iPad that has some really neat medical pictures. She sent me a picture of a microscopic view of IVF. I also found one that was animated. Be sure to check them out and search the website for other neat medical pictures.
http://www.3d4medical.com/
http://www.3d4medical.com/
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I'll Take It
Last week we received a bill in the mail from Southeastern. I wasn't expecting a bill because we are all caught up with the expenses of our IVF. Michael was already home and told me we had a bill from them. Over the last year I've dreaded opening any fertility, doctor, or credit card bill, so I took a deep breath and pulled it out of the envelope. It was only $.99. I laughed! So do I write a check for this or put it on my credit card? If I wait until the next bill will there be a fiance charge? What would that be...a penny? Anyway, I would love if all my bills were this low!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Post Consultation
I met with Dr. Slowey about the transfer. I'm a little more informed and have done some reflecting since leaving the office...
He likes the way everything went with the IVF, besides the outcome, and says we shouldn't give up hope yet. He says I need to remember I was pregnant...although I did miscarry. (It was called a biochemical pregnancy because they were able to tell I was pregnant by the HCG in my system, but they were never able to see it on an ultrasound because it was too early. The link does a great job of explaining a biochemical pregnancy.) We still don't know why I miscarried, but it is most likely due to the number of chromosomes and was probably genetically abnormal. He said he doesn't think it is because of my uterus. In fact, he said if he went to Vegas he would bet money on my uterus. It was kind of hard not to laugh when he said that.
I started to reflect on this IVF and some of our other fertility attempts and began to wonder if I could have had early miscarriages and not have known it. Several days after our transfer I started to feel really hungry and was even waking up in the morning starving. I only discussed it with Michael because I thought it was probably just a symptom I was making up in my head, but I was pregnant at the time so it makes sense. It lasted for a few days and then it was gone...most likely because the embryo, or whatever the technical term is for it at that stage, wasn't growing and therefore was going to result in a miscarriage. I've had the same feeling before with a couple of our IUI's so it makes me wonder how many early miscarriages I've had. It is very common for woman to have early miscarriages and not even know it because it is just like a normal period. Michael has always said he thinks I've had early miscarriages because I will report early symptoms to him and then they go away. I'm sure some symptoms have "appeared" just because I've wanted to be pregnant so bad, but others could have been due to an early miscarriage.
Anyway, we discussed the frozen embryos and what I have to do to prep my uterus/body. I will be on birth control pills, estrogen, and progesterone, but NO INJECTIONS!!!!! It will all be oral. Thank goodness because the syringe on the progesterone shot is HUGE...several inches long. Not only no injections, but I only have to go in for one ultrasound and no blood work.
I asked what the chances were of the frozen embryos surviving the freezing process. He said that there is a 10% chance we will only have one to transfer and a 1% chance we will have none to transfer. I will take those chances!! He also said they do about 100 frozen embryo transfers a year and my chances of it working are about 40-50%.
So having processed all the information we are going to do the transfer. It will probably take place the second week of July. I don't really want to wait that long, but as I keep saying..."we've waited three years, what's a little longer?"
He likes the way everything went with the IVF, besides the outcome, and says we shouldn't give up hope yet. He says I need to remember I was pregnant...although I did miscarry. (It was called a biochemical pregnancy because they were able to tell I was pregnant by the HCG in my system, but they were never able to see it on an ultrasound because it was too early. The link does a great job of explaining a biochemical pregnancy.) We still don't know why I miscarried, but it is most likely due to the number of chromosomes and was probably genetically abnormal. He said he doesn't think it is because of my uterus. In fact, he said if he went to Vegas he would bet money on my uterus. It was kind of hard not to laugh when he said that.
I started to reflect on this IVF and some of our other fertility attempts and began to wonder if I could have had early miscarriages and not have known it. Several days after our transfer I started to feel really hungry and was even waking up in the morning starving. I only discussed it with Michael because I thought it was probably just a symptom I was making up in my head, but I was pregnant at the time so it makes sense. It lasted for a few days and then it was gone...most likely because the embryo, or whatever the technical term is for it at that stage, wasn't growing and therefore was going to result in a miscarriage. I've had the same feeling before with a couple of our IUI's so it makes me wonder how many early miscarriages I've had. It is very common for woman to have early miscarriages and not even know it because it is just like a normal period. Michael has always said he thinks I've had early miscarriages because I will report early symptoms to him and then they go away. I'm sure some symptoms have "appeared" just because I've wanted to be pregnant so bad, but others could have been due to an early miscarriage.
Anyway, we discussed the frozen embryos and what I have to do to prep my uterus/body. I will be on birth control pills, estrogen, and progesterone, but NO INJECTIONS!!!!! It will all be oral. Thank goodness because the syringe on the progesterone shot is HUGE...several inches long. Not only no injections, but I only have to go in for one ultrasound and no blood work.
I asked what the chances were of the frozen embryos surviving the freezing process. He said that there is a 10% chance we will only have one to transfer and a 1% chance we will have none to transfer. I will take those chances!! He also said they do about 100 frozen embryo transfers a year and my chances of it working are about 40-50%.
So having processed all the information we are going to do the transfer. It will probably take place the second week of July. I don't really want to wait that long, but as I keep saying..."we've waited three years, what's a little longer?"
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Transfer Consultation
Pap...check.
Next up...my consult with Dr. Slowey tomorrow about the transfer of our two frozen embryos. I don't have as many questions as I did for the IVF consult, but I need to write the ones down that I have so I don't forget them.
My major question is...what is the percentage or chances of my two embryos not surviving the freezing process? There is a chance that on the morning of the transfer, when they "thaw" the embryos, that we find out they didn't survive the process. Hopefully, they are thriving as much as they can be while frozen. :)
I do know that I won't have as many appointments to go to, and I won't have to inject my body with quite so many hormones...yay! I guess I'll get all the specifics tomorrow, and I will fill everyone in on our next step.
Next up...my consult with Dr. Slowey tomorrow about the transfer of our two frozen embryos. I don't have as many questions as I did for the IVF consult, but I need to write the ones down that I have so I don't forget them.
My major question is...what is the percentage or chances of my two embryos not surviving the freezing process? There is a chance that on the morning of the transfer, when they "thaw" the embryos, that we find out they didn't survive the process. Hopefully, they are thriving as much as they can be while frozen. :)
I do know that I won't have as many appointments to go to, and I won't have to inject my body with quite so many hormones...yay! I guess I'll get all the specifics tomorrow, and I will fill everyone in on our next step.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Little Nervous
I go to the OBGYN tomorrow for a pap smear. I had one six months ago, but it came back abnormal...this is why I'm having another one so soon. Because of the abnormal results last time I had to have a colposcopy. I received the news of my abnormal pap the day before a scheduled IUI. I went through with the IUI and the results of my colposcopy came back normal. I'm praying tomorrow's pap goes without a hitch and the results came back normal. Hopefully, this time I will receive the results back well before we have any procedure scheduled.
The joys of being a woman! :)
The joys of being a woman! :)
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Interesting Discussion
I had an interesting conversation with my students on Friday. I don't really remember how it started or the exact words that were exchanged, but it caught me off guard and made me think...
Jimmy said something to me about being behind bars because I'm stuck teaching. I told him that I love teaching, and if I didn't I wouldn't do it. I also said something about how I like being around kids. Ethan proceeded to ask me why I don't have any? I told him I will eventually. Then somehow adoption was thrown into the mix and I said maybe I would adopt. Madison's jaw dropped open and she said, you would? Ethan reminded her that he is adopted and I told the class that Mr. Rataiczak was too. Katie piped in by telling the class about her parent's friends who adopted because the wife had a "disease" that wouldn't let her have her own.
This conversation only lasted a few minutes, but it felt so surreal that it was happening in my third grade classroom. I told a friend about the conversation we had and she thought maybe they had sensed something similar was going on with me since I have been out frequently and late on several occasions. I don't think this is the case because they are only 8 and 9 years old, but it made me wonder if this conversation was a hint of things to come or if this was God's sign to us that we are meant to be adoptive parents.
I think I'm almost to the point of believing I can't have children. I actually stated this to a woman a few days ago when she asked me if I have kids. While we have been on this journey I always believed that at some point I would have a child through fertility treatments, but that belief gets smaller and smaller with each passing day. I have a consult with Dr. Slowey on Thursday to discuss the transfer of the two remaining embryos. This is our last chance of becoming biological parents. If the transfer doesn't work we will begin our new journey of adoption.
Jimmy said something to me about being behind bars because I'm stuck teaching. I told him that I love teaching, and if I didn't I wouldn't do it. I also said something about how I like being around kids. Ethan proceeded to ask me why I don't have any? I told him I will eventually. Then somehow adoption was thrown into the mix and I said maybe I would adopt. Madison's jaw dropped open and she said, you would? Ethan reminded her that he is adopted and I told the class that Mr. Rataiczak was too. Katie piped in by telling the class about her parent's friends who adopted because the wife had a "disease" that wouldn't let her have her own.
This conversation only lasted a few minutes, but it felt so surreal that it was happening in my third grade classroom. I told a friend about the conversation we had and she thought maybe they had sensed something similar was going on with me since I have been out frequently and late on several occasions. I don't think this is the case because they are only 8 and 9 years old, but it made me wonder if this conversation was a hint of things to come or if this was God's sign to us that we are meant to be adoptive parents.
I think I'm almost to the point of believing I can't have children. I actually stated this to a woman a few days ago when she asked me if I have kids. While we have been on this journey I always believed that at some point I would have a child through fertility treatments, but that belief gets smaller and smaller with each passing day. I have a consult with Dr. Slowey on Thursday to discuss the transfer of the two remaining embryos. This is our last chance of becoming biological parents. If the transfer doesn't work we will begin our new journey of adoption.
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